Saturday, April 28, 2007

The Old Hag, atbp...

We came from a Homeowner's Associaton meeting here in our village to talk about our Entrance/Exit Gate which was supposed to have been closed temporarily but which, from the looks of it, was becoming permanent. But thanks (kinda) to the Board who listened to what we had to say and took notes of our grievances and suggestions, the gate might not be permanently closed anymore, after all.

Anyway, there was this aged, mestiza lady who looked mataray from the very start. Not one to judge by appearances only, I quietly observed her while listening to what was going on. When at last she finally spoke, it wasn't to say very nice things. Her tone was condescending and mocking and she carried herself with an air of superiority. It was quite unbecoming of an officer serving her equals.

Then I wondered. Who is this woman who speaks so confidently as if she were the boss of the people around her? What makes her treat people that way? Is it her name, her social status, her wealth, her stature, her education, or is it plainly her style, her way of carrying herself and she really does not harbor any ill feelings?

It is hard to read people and judge them by the way they look, or the way they act at a single given time. There are perhaps reasons for the unpleasant way they carry themselves given a certain situation. We really can not tell. Perhaps, under normal circumstances, they are actually nice people, or beneath those tough, suplada exteriors, are sweet and caring men and women, whatever the case may be. I really can not tell.

But her actions of that night got me thinking. There are really people who act like her. There are really people who rub others the wrong way, who carry themselves too confidently, it affects the others around them, who speak with a not so friendly tone, who say things or do things that 'hurt' people or step on them; who seemingly look down at people. Intentionally, or unintentionally. It might be their nature, their upbringing, their mood for that day.

Admittedly, nobody's perfect, and nobody is genuinely 100% nice and sweet. Not everyone can be as patient especially when one is fed up with issues (perhaps the officers received a lot of flak already from some home owners). But it never hurts to make the extra effort at being nicer, being the better person, being more smiling. These efforts are appreciated and spell a big difference especially if you occupy a position of service (and I realize it is a thankless one, at that). So I truly commend the chairperson of that meeting. He was patient and accommodating.

What do we do when we meet people like the old hag? Do we give them a dose of their own medicine? Or do we choose to be the better person and kill them with kindness? Show them that we are the more educated person by treating everyone nicely and equally. Smile more. Perhaps it will warm their hearts. If it doesn't work, we can ignore them and go about our business.

What do we do when we are that old hag? Whew! This calls for some deep introspection. Someone should tell us we're being nasty and then we have to constantly pray to ask God to humble ourselves. We have to pray to the Holy Spirit and Mama Mary for guidance and to melt our icy hearts with the warmth of the love around us.

It isn't easy. We all have times when we're like the old hag, but we have to try to rise above it and strive to be a better, gentler person. I always think a smile is always a good start. And, although difficult, we have to always look at the brighter side, find the good in each person, and magnify that. It is hard to do and I have my own struggles within, but I just have to keep on trying... Lest I become an old hag myself!!!


Elizza said...

what you said is true, nobody is perfect...even the nicest person around have their moments too:D....i have my moments of MEAN-ness too (hehe - not to often...maybe on weekends! hahaha)... my prayers always include asking forgiveness and asking the Lord to give me strength to handle the situation is not an excuse to be MEAN if other people are MEAN to us...(right, MP?) hihi!

Rona said... talking about me? hehehe. But wait, I'm NOT old!!! You can call me the YOUNG Hag. :)

Great analysis, Bang! True words...but then you're a naturally NICE person. You'd go the route of smiling and killing the old hag with kindness.

Me, I'm the mean kind, the vindictive one, even. I'd tone it down a bit because she was old...but I'd dish out the exact same thing to her if she did that to me!

P.S. You went to a LV meeting?!?!? Hehehe.

Olivia said...

Mom and I went to the meeting. At the last minute, we both regretted not having asked you to attend instead. You'd have represented us better and put that old hag and some others in their places!
You're not the mean one. You're a woman with a lioness exterior but with a gullible, soft and kind heart! :)

Pretty Woman said...

Your blog entry is true. In life, you come across different personalitites that will test your patience and your ability to control yourself. But in the end, we can only control our OWN actions, thoughts and feelings.