Friday, October 06, 2006

Pregnant Thoughts

I am now 7 months pregnant and my tummy is getting bigger and bigger. I am now in the US just waiting for Rafael IV to come out in a couple more months. Two more months of waiting... anticipating... experiencing new feelings and sensations... and of growing...

Pregnancy comes with its own unique set of symptoms, emotions and 'challenges'.

The first three months bring about a certain amount of fragility, fatigue and discomfort. This trimester is the adjusting stage for me. I am so conscious that there's a new life being shaped inside me and I start walking sloooowwer. I get sleepy more often and require afternoon naps. I have spotting when stressed out. My tummy doesn't show yet, but I am getting heavier - 5 pounds heavier. Luckily, I do not have morning sickness or have any particular food cravings. My Ob/Gyne teases me that my only 'paglilihi' is Boydee. I tell her, he's my 'paglilihi' even when I'm not pregnant. Hehehe... So, even if making love is put on hold, the love actually grows stronger knowing in my womb is the FRUIT of our love - Boydee's, mine and, more importantly, God's.

The second trimester is probably the one with the least pain and weakness but the period of changes and more discoveries. By this time, my body has adjusted to the changes in me that sometimes, I forget I am pregnant and tend to jump, walk fast or run. But then, the heaviness in my tummy reminds me that I can't move or shouldn't move as I used to. This is the trimester with the most physical tests - ultrasounds are now in the pelvis and not TVS anymore (Thank God!), OGCT (Oral Glucose Challenge Test) and OGTT (Oral Glucose Tolerance Test - considered a re-test for failing the OGCT - this is a torturous exam where blood is extracted from me four times in four hours - thankfully, I passed. If I failed, I would be diagnosed with Gestational Diabetes) are performed and a congenital anomaly scan is done (to check if our baby has been formed well). On the 5th month, another ultrasound is performed to determine the baby's sex. While the ultrasound is being done, I pray to the high heavens to let our baby be a boy. God answers our prayers! The sonologist sees a penis! Boydee, the proud father, says he's the man!!! Hehehe... We announce the great news to our families. Officially in my womb is Rafael IV. On my 6th month ultrasound, our baby is finally in the cephalic or normal position. He was breech for the past months. By this time, I gain a total of 18 pounds and am ready to leave for the United States.

I come here on the 28th week of my pregnancy. My tummy is showing but it is still camouflage-able. Instead of September 27, as originally planned, Mom and I leave on the 1st of October, the reason being I had to finish the finale of my teleserye Majika on GMA 7 which was on September 29. Just kidding... (partly anyway)! The real reason is the engagement of Randy to Stella. Friday was the designated day of his proposal and I really didn't want to miss it.

We land in LA and pray for a smooth, hassle free entry. We breeze through Immigration and Customs. God has been with us all the way... Now, almost a week here, we have yet to find a doctor for me since our family ob/gyne will be on leave the month I am due. Boydee will follow late November. Mommy Nonie will follow in December. The whole Dizon family will be spending Christmas here. Hopefully, by that time, baby Rafael will have come out of me and into this world, enveloped with so much love.

For now, I look at myself in the mirror and sometimes still can not believe that I am actually pregnant. It seems surreal sometimes. Everything else seems normal but my tummy is just getting bigger and heavier. My linea negra is showing. It is harder for me to bend now or stand up or sit down. I snore more loudly and deep breathing brings about much relief! And I now weigh 153 pounds. Baby Rafael keeps moving, giving me butterflies in my stomach. But I am not complaining.

Pregnancy changes a woman's lifestyle and her usual routine and daily activities are temporarily put on hold; life is on a stand still. But this is perhaps the most exciting phase in every woman's life. One that is filled with much joy, anticipation, excitement and gratefulness. We, women, are so blessed to have this unique opportunity to serve as God's instruments in bringing new life into this earth, of carrying His creation in our wombs, and raising His children.

So, what of the extra flabs that I have to lose after, the stretch marks and perhaps the sagging boots after? They are but proud scars of sacrifice and love for our baby. So what is nine months of temporary physical discomfort, constant check ups and visits to the ob/gyne, very minimal sex and sacrifice? There is life growing inside of me, our baby boy. And even if upon his birth, there will be more changes to come, I will embrace it. A baby will be born to us... and our lives will never be the same again. It will definitely and hopefully be better! We will finally be a family!


Rona said...

Beautiful writing again, Bang. And I agree---SO WHAT!! The most important thing is that we women are able to bring into this world these creations of hold, to teach, to nurture, to LOVE.

P.S. Since you've been calling the baby Rafael, you think we should have that as his "nickname" too? You would SHUDDER to hear the suggestions spewing forth over here for Rafael's nickname!

birthingjourney said...

What a beautiful entry!