Inspiration of Love and Strength

Daddy Boy slid in the shower yesterday while the rest of us were having dinner. We all rushed to the bathroom and saw Dad sitting by the shower, the glass wall and door, cracked and shattered. Thank God he was alright but we were all scared and nervous, Daddy included. After that, Daddy smiled and Mom said thank God his guardian angel was watching over him.

I watched over Dad while he was having dinner in the room. We talked and laughed about our love stories. I guess this was one of our bonding sessions. While Daddy slowly worked his way through his dinner, I realized that right before my eyes was a survivor, an inspiration of strength. Here was a man who had undergone 4 major, life-threatening operations and lived to survive them all. Here was a man whose physical body has been weakened by the passage of sickness and ailments but whose spirit, will to live and faith in God remain intact and strong. He has weathered so many storms but here he was, chewing the okra and baked salmon and sipping his chicken macaroni soup, a smile in his eyes as he retells how he courted Mommy.

In a few minutes, Mom went in the room and Daddy's eyes lit up. Daddy's inspiration just walked in the room :-)

Mom's role is not an easy part to play. She, too, is an inspiration of strength. More than being physically strong, having to take care of Daddy and his needs, she is also strong emotionally as she gives Dad reasons to fight for his life and live while putting up a brave front even when the situation is hard to bear; she is spiritually strong as she lifts and entrusts everything to the Lord and her roster of Saints, knowing and believing He is constantly by their side, even if the trials become too complicated. She is strong in will, having to force herself to say no to Dad when he asks for things (particularly food!!!) that are bad for him when it would have taken so much less trouble to say yes. When I look at Mom, I can only wish to possess even half of her strength.

Dad and Mom... they're inspirations of strength, individually. Together, they are an inspiration of love. Being married for 38 years, having gone through ups and downs, raising 5 children, seeing them get married (waiting for 2 more sons to follow suit...hehehe), pampering grand kids, helping others, facing challenges... their love has only grown stronger. More than that, their love has grown bigger as they share this love to those around them and inspire us and others to love like they do by their example. We are only so lucky to be witnesses and recipients of this love.

As I spent time with Dad and Mom in the room, I couldn't help but feel blessed. Back when I was younger, I was a daughter to a couple who loved each other so much. When God took my Daddy away, Mom's love went with him since Dad was my Mom's one true love. Back when I was much younger, God gave me a chance to be pampered and loved by a father who was generous, loving, funny and oh so patient with me. His memory will always be in my heart.

Now, God has blessed me with another set of parents whose love for each other is just as great, and just as true. He gave me a second father, too. Indeed, I am two times lucky in one lifetime. I only have God to thank for these bountiful gifts.

I hope one day, some day, Boydee and I will also be an inspiration of love, just like Daddy Victor and Mommy Nonie, just like Daddy Boy and Mommy Shalene. And whatever trials may come our way, I hope we could emulate our parents' example of strength, resilience and most specially, their faith.

Brazo de Hyundai

My hubby has this thing with cooked eggs. Despite his allergic reactions to it, he just can not resist its white and yellow allure. Maybe it is true what they say about our subconscious rebellious streak in wanting the things you can't and shouldn't have. For my husband, it's eggs... For me, for now, it's something else but it's censored... hahahaha..... just teasing....

Anyway, back to eggs... His favorite dessert are those with eggs - canonigo, leche flan, tocino del cielo and yup, brazo de mercedes... the white fluffy roll with yellow custard filling. It's cross section looks like an egg cooked sunny side up.

In a trip to Cebu last year, we went to our restaurant since he wanted to learn how to make his own brazo. Helen, our pastry chef, gladly demonstrated the procedure and it looked easy enough. Back in Manila, we followed the recipe to a T but concluded we missed out on the technique part since our first attempt flopped. The egg white perhaps wasn't beaten well enough or it was overbeat. Nobody ever said baking was easy. :-(

Ever the persistent (a.k.a. kulit) one, Boydee insisted on going for it a second time. The second attempt only succeeded in wasting more of Lola's tray of eggs. But we did get some insights from the experience. We realized the following: our clean kitchen oven doesn't produce the right heat temperature; the clean kitchen oven can only fit small trays; in baking, the recipe isn't the secret-it's the technique and the timing; it is not advisable to change ovens midway into baking; equipment is important; always pre-heat the oven; and lastly, is there ever such a thing as overnight, instant bakers?!?

Boydee calls our creation Brazo de Hyundai because it definitely did not pass for a Mercedes. Up to now, we laugh at our first attempt at baking. It was a fun experience especially when Lola started looking for her eggs. That was during the Christmas season of last year.

Fast forward to August of this year... It was Ate Rona's and Boydee's birthday party last August 6 and I took charge of the 'celebration'. I prepared a Spanish buffet spread and of course wanted to include Brazo de Mercedes in the dessert menu. First, because it was Boydee's favorite dessert (tocino del cielo proving to be very expensive from Cafe Ysabel at P25 per piece. Imagine that!) and second, it was conveniently a spanish dessert.

I went through my reference book "Guide to Manila's Best Restaurants" and called Tita Margot Osmena to help me choose between two suppliers since one of the suppliers was a Vargas which meant that maybe she was related to Tita Margot. Carmen Vargas WAS her Tita and she made the best Brazo and butter cake in town, according to Tita Margot.

So on that Sunday gathering, I served the Brazo de Mercedes and the Butter Cake. Both cakes earned raves especially the Brazo. The brazo was sinfully rich with the luscious, yellow filling literally oozing out of the dessert. The outer layer was light and white with a super thin layer of burnt sugar coating. It was a sweet tooth's dream come true.

On that day, we consumed 2 orders of 17-inch Brazo and for the upcoming baby shower of Lai, Ate Rona specifically requested for the Brazo to do an encore. So this Saturday, it's Brazo time again!

For now, there is no immediate need to learn how to make brazo since we've found the perfect supplier. For now, no more brazos de hyundai and wasted eggs. During Christmas time, that's another story since Boydee is determined to make his own version of his favorite dessert to give away to friends. Lola better start hiding her trays of eggs!

Our new-found Brazo and Butter cake supplier:
Carmen Vargas
#02-8107529
Brazo de Mercedes - 17 inch - P650; 6 inch - P320; Mini - P150
Butter Cake - 10x14 - P650; 8x10 - P400; 5x8 - 300; 3x7 - P150

I'm Having A Baby... Finally!!!

This week, I reached the 140-lb mark. I've never been heavier in my life, not that I was ever ultra thin. But I have a GREAT excuse... There's life growing inside me. God planted a little miracle in my womb and soon, His baby will be born to us - two excited, nervous parents to be.

It took us over a year to get me pregnant. Back when I was single and a 30-year old virgin, I thought having a baby was an easy, most natural thing. Little did I know that there's so much science, technique, theory and timing that go into it. Oh, and so many well-meaning friends gave all sorts of "helpful" advice. There's having sex in the afternoon or whenever you usually don't do it; taking cough syrup before making love to improve one's fertility; applying an ice pack on Boydee's thingy to improve circulation; making love in a cool environment; making love doggy style; raising my legs after doing it and not making wee wee to keep the sperm inside and so much more. Of course, all pieces of advice were taken with a grain of salt so lest your minds go wandering off, we didn't follow everything to the book, AND we chose which ones were do-able and reasonable. (Rands, if you're reading this, masyadong censored ba? hahaha...)

We took it easy for a year, thinking the pregnancy was bound to happen soon. Having an irregular menstrual cycle didn't help any. It made it difficult to determine whether I was fertile, or delayed. So whenever I felt fat, I'd hope this was it. When I'd miss my period for a few days, I'd hope. Few times, I took the pregnancy test, praying "Hail Mary" before reading the results... and each time, it showed one line only (negative). And I'd feel frustrated and sad. And I felt sorry for Boydee also because I couldn't give him a baby yet.

After our 1st anniversary, we resolved to exhaust more efforts in making a baby. I prayed everyday the Novenas to Sto. Nino de Providencia and the Lady of La Leche; and on the 9th-17th of each month, Boydee and I would pray the novena to St. Therese.

I also changed ob-gynes. I transferred to Ate Rona's ob-gyne, Dr. Mitch Dado, and she explained the science of baby-making and the importance of timing. It helped that she was very warm, friendly, accommodating, intelligent and patient in answering my questions... and Boydee's.

She gave me Clomid to help make sure my eggs fertilize. The first cycle didn't work. I skipped the next cycle since Boydee and I were gonna be apart during the time I was supposed to be fertile. The next cycle did it! That was March 2006 and I found out I was pregnant when I was already 6 weeks on the way.

We had just come back from the US to visit Daddy who was hospitalized. I was feeling bloated and was tired easily. I was also a little delayed from my estimated day of my period. We were at our beach house in Cebu but I'd already bought a pregnancy test kit here in Manila. In the morning of May 1, I asked Boydee if I should take the test. He said yes, no harm in trying. So I took the test while he watched beside me. And for the first time ever, ever in my life (and hopefully his...hehehe...), the test registered two lines. I finally passed!!! I stood there in disbelief while Boydee ecstatically hugged me and said "I love you, Love!!!!", happiness in his voice.

The next day, we came back to Manila. I still couldn't believe it so I took another test. It was positive again. I kinda got convinced then. After several disappointments, I just had to be sure. So, I texted Doc Mitch and scheduled an appointment.

On appointment day, Boydee and I went to ClarkMed. Doc Mitch was smiling. I told her I took 2 pregnancy tests and they both registered positive. We had an ultrasound and there it was... The little baby, although it didn't look like one yet. But it already had a heart beat. I couldn't see the screen from the ultrasound but I could see he/she was there from the look of Boydee's face. Oh, how he beamed and smiled. We were both teary-eyed and overwhelmed by this blessing. This was it. God finally decided we were ready to accept His great gift.

I'm now on my fourth month. Occasionally, I read to the baby with Reese, Rielle, Raegan, Rogan and Boydee, alternating. Occasionally, I listen to classical music. In the mornings, Boydee greets our little baby good morning in my womb. He would put his hand on my tummy and say "Hello Baby!". And my heart melts.

We pray for a normal and healthy baby and a safe and normal delivery for me. We pray the baby will grow up to have a kind and loving heart and will discover God early and be His friend.

Looking back, I realize God never left us alone, despite my feelings of frustration before. He gave us enough time to enjoy the two of us and adjust to married life. He gave us time to bond with the family and take care of Daddy. He gave us the opportunity to travel together as husband and wife without the 'hassles' yet of babies.

God was watching over us all along. And just like how Boydee and I found each other and loved, God also just waited for the right time for the baby to come along... It's all on His own time. And now, I'm having a baby... finally!!! :-D

Sisterhood

I discovered sisterhood at 30 years old. On October 30, 2004, I officially gained two sisters and only then did I realize how much fun it could be.

I was born an only daughter to my Daddy Victor and Mommy Nonie. I grew up with two older brothers who treated me no differently than them. So I played with robots and hand me down toys. The first time I discovered Barbie was in my elementary years when one of my godparents gifted me with one. (Not that I became much of a doll person after that.) I felt I didn't miss much not having a sister. I was happy having two brothers.

Mom said she would have wanted another baby after me but I told her I was glad she didn't. So I'd remain the only girl forever. No competition, no person to share my toys and books with, no other daughter who can claim the 'Daddy's Girl' tag. I was the only daughter, and I would never have had it any other way. (Oh boy, do i sound bratty! :-D but I wasn't spoiled. I just really liked the title. hehehe....)

Growing up, I made a lot of friends and kept close friendships and special ones - best friends, super duper close friends, friends-since-childhood friends, etc... Some friends like Gina in high school and May in college til now were like sisters to me. We shared secrets, random thoughts, fears, joys, boy talks and a number of life's milestones. They were the closest thing I had to having a sister. And I realized having a sister wasn't so bad after all. But being an only daughter was still way cooler. hehehe...

Now, marriage to my one true love has gifted me with two sisters.

Ate Rona - the "tough" Ate who can actually be such a softie, the tall, a little on the heavy side Ate who has a heart that's equally big, the seemingly hot tempered Ate who is actually very warm, funny and brightens up the room with her gregarious personality, her interesting character and her loud voice! :-D With Ate, what you see is what you get and you really can't ask for anything more. She's a real person, not to mention a great mother to her 4 kids. She's also the most active digi scrapper ever. Did I mention they share the same birthday as my hubby?

Then there's Elizza - the sweet wife of Rondic who once a friend, becomes your friend for life. She's the type who would stick by you, no matter what; who sees the good in everyone; who unselfishly gives and helps, and genuinely cares. She is a softie inside and out. Incidentally, we're going through our pregnancies together. How cool is that?

The three of us. We're sisters and we've formed a sisterhood. We share the same office, took photoshop classes and photography classes together, eat a lot together, carry a Dizon family name, sometimes live together, go on vacations together, share so many other things. We think of potential businesses/projects/rackets (The Candid Company photo studio or something like that, the Scrapbooking Sisters...), get into a common hobby or sport. We borrow each others' DVDs, clothes (depending on where our bodies are in the weighing scale), accessories, etc.

It took me thirty years to discover the joys and possibilities of sisterhood. I have only just begun and there is a whole lifetime to experience what I've perhaps missed out on when I was a child. It doesn't matter that I'm not the only daughter in our present household. Sisterhood isn't a competition, or a race to get a particular title. Sisterhood is sharing, loving, growing and going through life together. And the best part is we share a bond much stronger than friendship. We ARE a family.

Testing, testing...

29 June 2006.

I'm sitting in front of my laptop checking emails, reading my fave blogspot 'desserts come first' when i finally had the daring spirit to start my own blog... This daring, of course, was also encouraged by my 2 sisters-in-law who are fellow digi-scrappers like me and who are now so into their own blogs :-)

Anyway, I'm still not so well versed with this hi tech world of blogging even if it's been around long enough. So i'm not really sure how this will look... or if anybody would even bother to read, or post comments, or anything... so for now, it's like i'm writing to invisible people :-) so hello invisible people! this is a test if this blog, my blog really works... :-)

Til the next entry... will have to see first if this actually works (pardon my ignorance :-))